How literacy shapes emotionally intelligent children

Imagine your child returns home from school quieter than usual. An incident occurred, and they may want to share it, but they cannot find the right words. At bedtime, while you read them a story, their eyes light up. A line resonates. The child can finally share what was bothering them. The vocabulary they had been reaching for all day was found in a book. Like the main character, the child experienced a conflict at school and is still feeling frustrated. How should they respond? “Social emotional learning is understanding that every action causes a reaction,” children’s book author Isaiah Allen stated. As you continue reading the book, the child explores new tools for conflict management, which include breathing exercises to de-escalate.

This example captures the remarkable power of literacy. Children not only develop the ability to read and write but also emotional intelligence. Stories, characters, and shared reading at home can equip children to understand their feelings, develop empathy, and navigate the complexities of human relationships.

Exploring emotions through stories
One of the greatest gifts stories offer children is a rich emotional vocabulary. In everyday life, children tend to use simple words like happy, sad, and angry. Stories fill this gap, introducing richer vocabulary words like embarrassed, overwhelmed, anxious, and jealous.

Encountering these emotions in stories helps children identify and associate words with their own feelings. A child who has read about a character experiencing loss has a reference point and a coping mechanism for when such an experience arises in their own life. When families read together, they create a safe emotional space where parents can help children navigate difficult feelings.

Building empathy through characters and perspectives
Children practice empathy when they step outside their own lives and follow the stories of others. Empathy is a vital human skill, and books help hone it. On a character’s journey, a child may laugh, cry, or grow anxious, therefore experiencing a full range of emotions.
This emotional rollercoaster is key to building emotional intelligence and healthy relationships. A child who is widely read is often more enlightened and exposed to diverse viewpoints. They grow up with a deeper appreciation of the human experience.

This is why diverse books matter, and it is also at the heart of Planting People Growing Justice’s work. When children read stories from different cultures, races, and life experiences, they become more empathetic. They come to realize that their life experiences are but one of many, and that all these diverse experiences are equally valid and important.

Books as a bridge for difficult conversations
Children may not share how they feel or what they are going through due to a lack of words to express these feelings or a lack of emotional safety to do so.
Books serve as the bridge.

An experience a child has shelved may surface when they notice a character going through something similar. This shared experience can give the child the confidence to open up, and this time, with the right words.

Children should be encouraged to engage with stories freely by sketching characters, journaling, or sharing them with enthusiasm. This freedom encourages deeper reading and helps children grow into people who handle their emotions with dignity and respect.

A practical guide for First Educators
First Educators can develop emotional intelligence as a core skill by following these simple, actionable steps:

• Read Daily: First Educators should set aside time to read with their children. This could be at bedtime or just before dinner, whichever suits the family best. Routinely doing this becomes a habit that creates an emotionally safe space for children.

• Choice of Books: Be intentional. Seek out books featuring characters who navigate real-life challenges like loss, fear, and friendship struggles. These experiences help prepare children for the real world.

• Pause and Ask Questions about Feelings: During these shared reading sessions, First Educators should pause at key emotional moments and ask questions such as:
- How do you think this character is feeling?
- What would you do in their place?
- What help would you render a friend experiencing this?
Meaningful conversations arise from these interactions.

• Keep a Journal: Encourage your child to keep a journal where all feelings are documented either through writing or drawing. This exercise is a way to express and reflect on emotions.

• Link Stories to Real-life Experiences: Your child may be experiencing their first friendship fallout and is unsure how to manage these emotions. Introducing a book that addresses this experience does most of the job. The revelations and conversations stemming from this story may help your child overcome the hurt or manage their emotions effectively.

• Select Diverse Stories with Intention: Reading diverse stories broadens empathy. Introduce children to content from different backgrounds, cultures, and lived experiences to widen their worldview.

When children understand their own feelings, they tend to be empathetic towards others. They are not only equipped to live in our world but also to navigate it with compassion.
Through her organization, Planting People Growing Justice Leadership Institute, Dr. Artika Tyner offers resources to foster literacy and education.